Hmm

Well i'm thinking I might go back to writing in my other blog. Might come here occasionally when I get tired of e-mailing. But anyway. I'm mad. I didn't wake up in time to go to church today. My alarm clock never went off. GRR!! I'm also really getting tired of people judging me that don't know me. They think i'm this horrible person and i'm not. I've always thought about other people, I put other people before myself. I never think about by own happiness. It's something that I've realized that I'm not supposed to have. Because for all that i've been through I've helped others because of it. Like the people that have now recovered from anorexia, bulimia, self-mutilation, depression, suicidalness (for lack of a better term), and abusive relationships with boyfriends and even drug addiction. My sister was a drug addict. I hope to God that she isn't anymore. So i'm still not getting why i'm a horrible person. I'm never rude or mean to anyone. I always smile at people whether I like them or not. No rude comments or gestures behind their backs. And if they have problems I help them. And I can't even tell you how many times i've almost been fired from work because my friends know that they can count on me anytime. One time I walked out of my job because one of my friends needed me. I've talked on the phone with some of them for long periods of time at work because they had a problem and they needed me. Sometimes they came in crying to me because they know that to me they are more important than my job. One of my ex-boyfriends broke up with me because right as we were about to leave to go somewhere that we had been planning for a while one of my friends called me and she was extremely upset so I cancelled on him to go to her house. Turns out she had been raped. Point is I always put others before myself. But for some reason non of my friends parents even like me. They all hate me and I really can't understand why. If it's because I didn't go to college this semester it's because I didn't have the money. I'm not like them who's families can afford to send their kids off to college. I have to pay for it ON MY OWN. No student aid. No financial aid. And my car took a lot of work so it drained that option out. I have two jobs right now. One I work on the weekends and the other I have every weekday. I work with kids on the weekdays at a daycare. I started out working 11-6 but then they had to cut hours so I now work 2:30-6 and usually get off half hour early. So yay now I get to go find a third job. Now I don't know if any parents are reading this, I don't know how they would have even gotten the address to here but if you're one of the parents that think i'm a horrible person because I didn't go to college and you never think I work, well then i'm very sorry but you're wrong. I work very hard. I don't have the luxury of my family paying for everything. Most of my friends families will pay for their kids car repairs. I pay for my own. I pay for my own groceries, my own clothes, my own car, my own car repairs, my liscensing (sp?), registration, college, my own gas, my car insurance. I think the only think that I don't pay for is rent, and medical. Oh and I'm moving out in June. So i'm still not getting how i'm a horrible person. Please unless you know me don't judge me. Because chances are you're wrong about the type of person that I am. You don't even begin to scratch the surface. Anyway my food is done. I'm gonna go eat. Then I get to go to work. I've recently been told that I work too much.. oops.